Questions About Sex (We Are Too Embarrassed To Ask)
Talking sex, especially when it involves health issues, can be embarrassing — especially when it's in front of a 50-year-old, bespectacled doctor holding a tube of lube and a speculum. Here are some of the burning (no pun intended) and most embarrassing sex questions most people are too afraid to ask, along with their answers.
I noticed some bumps on my boyfriend's penis. Are they normal, or should I be worried?
Like women, men can develop fibrous lumps (excess tissue) down below. Bumps also can signal an allergic reaction, possibly to latex or the clothing detergent he uses. Either way, it's a good idea to ask your man to talk to his doc about anything that may appear weird (lumps can be a sign of a sexually transmitted infection).
I love having sex with my partner, but his penis is very small. Does size matter?
Size shouldn't matter. What counts is whether you're satisfied with the sex you and your partner have. Many men make up for their size limitations by outperforming their larger-than-life peers in other erotic areas (foreplay, oral sex, etc.). To up the penetration factor of a man with a smaller penis, try climbing on top or lying on your back and lifting your legs over your head. Both will push a man's penis — no matter the size — closer to your G-spot.
If your partner is concerned about the size of his penis, be sure to stroke his sexual ego. Compliment him on the ways he performs, but remember not to over talk the issue. This could cause you to ramble or say something that could be inadvertently hurtful.
I have no problem getting naturally lubricated for sex, but during it, I feel like my vagina "loosens." Is there something I can do to make it feel tighter?
Like any other muscle in your body, your vagina needs exercise to stay "tight." That's especially true as we age. One of the best things you can do now are Kegel exercises. These little squeezes not only improve the strength of your vaginal walls, but they also strengthen your pelvic floor. As a bonus, you'll have stronger orgasms. So how do you do them? Sit down and squeeze your vaginal muscles — as though you're holding in urine — and repeat the action several times over. Can't be bothered to do that? Then use Ben Wa Balls. All you have to do is insert the balls and move around. They will do the rest of the work for you!
My partner likes to watch porn to get aroused. When — if ever — should I be worried?
Watching porn can be a normal and healthy part of a sexual relationship, as long as your partner is caring and respectful of your sexual boundaries. Alarm bells should start ringing if he/she starts requesting you to perform "moves" or "acts" that make you feel disrespected or uncomfortable. Porn also can be a problem if it starts to take over a person's life, or if he starts spending all of his downtime watching it online. Talk to your partner about how you're feeling and work together to ensure you're both comfortable and satisfied with your sex life.
My partner and I have been together for several years, and I'm no longer sexually satisfied. Are we doomed?
Problems in the bedroom can be a sign that something else is wrong in your relationship. Have the two of you been spending more day-to-day time apart than together? Are you both extra stressed? Have you been neglecting date nights or the little things that make you feel special and loved? How have you been communicating? Before writing off your relationship entirely, talk to your partner about your declining level of sexual satisfaction. From there, work together to figure out how to spice things up. Go back to basics if you have to and relearn what makes each other tick. Masturbate. Lie in bed and caress your partner's body. Talk about your fantasies. Delving deeper into your relationship — emotionally and sexually — should up the wow factor in the bedroom.