Male Chastity - A beginner's guide to something life changing

** This blog was written by Guest Author Rob **

A couple of weeks ago I reviewed the XXDreamSToys male chastity cage. I said at the time that a whole article had to be written on male chastity if you want to truly understand what it's about - and why it's a massive game changer.

While I consider myself pretty experienced where most sexual acts, fetishes and fantasies are concerned, I was a complete novice when it came to cock cages. If you're a beginner and you think you like the idea of either wearing a chastity cage, or having your partner wear one, these few tips and things to consider are going to really help you out along the way.

Firstly, and like everything sex-related, communication is key. Now I know that sounds like a cliche, but you have to do this part properly before anybody gets locked into anything. There's a unique psychological dynamic about chastity, and I can guarantee you won't enjoy it if you aren't totally accepting of the mindset you need. If you are accepting of it though...

It's mind blowing!

If you're going to be wearing the cage, you need to know this: you are literally giving your penis to your keyholder. It's this emasculation that serves as the turn on for the majority of people, and you need to be fully behind it from the outset. This means sitting down with your partner and ensuring that you're both committed to trying it out for a set period of time (I recommend three days at first).

Agree that once your keyholder has clicked that lock closed, you no longer have a penis. It's now a toy that belongs to them. You don't get released until they decide it suits them. And if they decide to not release you, there's nothing that you can do about it. Stop complaining. It might sound like this can't possibly be enjoyable, but once you get your head around it you'll see how unbelievably arousing that is. It's also a kind of all-or-nothing lifestyle, because you need to make sure that you have no realistic way of escaping or cheating. Having a spare key somewhere accessible will ruin the experience.

Once you have that certainty that you can not escape, you'll be amazed at how you actually become trained by your keyholder. Assuming you get an occasional reward from them, you'll suddenly find yourself wanting to make them happy, because your brain has formed a connection between their happiness and your arousal. They'll notice that you're making every effort to please them, and they'll know that you're doing it because you want them so badly. How many relationships could benefit from partners legitimately getting turned on at the sight of the other person's happiness? Each and every one of our relationships, I'd bet.

I really think it can have an amazing impact on relationships, and that alone is a good enough reason to consider trying it out.

If you do decide to give it a whirl, take a read through some of these practical tips as well before you go out and buy anything.

  1. Make sure you have the right sized cage. The ring that holds your balls is the most important bit. Too loose and you'll be able to remove the device. Too small and it'll chafe (bad news) or potentially cut off blood circulation (REALLY bad news). All reputable brands provide measurements.
  2. When measuring for your size, do it when flaccid! Measure the length and diameter of your penis, as well as the most important bit, the ring size. To measure for the correct size take a bendable measuring tape and starting on top of your penis against your stomach, measure a circle down the side of your balls, all the way underneath them and across your perineum. Finally, head back up the other side of your balls to complete the circle. The tape needs to be firm, but not too tight.
  3. Cut your pubic hair as short as possible. I've always preferred to totally shave everywhere down there, but if you've never done that I wouldn't recommend starting at this moment. You can get rashes from shaving if your skin isn't used to it. Definitely cut all hair as short as possible though. The ring can get caught and can pull out a handful of pubes otherwise, and as we know, that hurts more than a multiple gunshot wound.
  4. Steel works best for beginners. This might sound counterintuitive - since wearing a steel cage has a hardcore medieval feel to it, but actually they're a lot simpler. I haven't tried any polycarbonate or silicon cages (yet), but they're generally more enclosed, and that makes it tougher to wash. Yes, you'll be wearing it in the shower.
  5. Speaking of hygiene, once you've washed carefully, make sure you dry the cage off properly. A hair dryer on a low heat setting works. Still, your keyholder should remove it once a week for a full scrub. If they don't want you to be able to touch yourself in that time they can always tie your hands behind your back while they wash and replace the cage.
  6. When you need to pee for the first time, sit down. Trust me on this one. Once you get used to manoeuvring it you can stand up again, but for now... Just trust me.
  7. Wear fitted underwear. You didn't think that you only had to wear it at home, did you? Oh no, this cage goes with you wherever you are. That includes being in public. Tight fitting underwear will make certain it's not visible under your pants, and also makes it more comfortable.
  8. Have an emergency key, but don't have access to it on your own. I recommend keeping it in something that has a breakable seal. That way your keyholder can check if you've used it, and at least you have a way of getting out in a real emergency. Another option is keeping it locked behind a combination lock that only the keyholder knows.
  9. I mean it when I say "real emergency". The idea here is to give up control. You need to actually give up that control for it to work. Otherwise you're just wearing weird dick jewellery.

So there you have it. While the practical tips are important, I think the biggest aspect to male chastity is the psychological part. It can and will do wonders for your relationship, and it's also a gigantic turn on for both of you, but you need to fully commit to it before you see the rewards.

If you can't fully commit to it, then I seriously recommend that you fully commit to trying it.

Have you ever considered chastity? Ever tried it? Have any other questions? Drop a comment below!

Until next time - play nicely, and don't forget your safe word ;)



  • Rob

    Hey Alfredo,

    I found I was almost permanently aroused, which is obviously a positive. I also found that the psychological turn on associated with it helped with that arousal.

    It’s tough to say what the point is, really.

    It’ll make you feel submissive, naughty, and aroused towards your key holder specifically. If you’ve ever felt like your attraction to each other is getting a bit stale, then you’ll be shocked at how much you suddenly want them again when they have those keys!

    It’ll make your key holder feel powerful, but also confident. My girlfriend said she felt a lot more confident to do whatever fantasies she wouldn’t normally do because the fact that she held the keys to my manhood made all the difference.

    I hope that helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.


  • Alfredo

    Hi Rob,
    I am a Newbe here and have a question:
    what is the real advantage for a man to wearing a penis cage: to get easily aroused or only psychological aspect ?

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